Comedian Lori Graves

SPEAKERS

Rodney Veal, Lori Graves

Rodney Veal  00:00

Well, hello everybody. This is Roddy veal. I’m the host of Roddy veal is inspired by and today I have probably one of the funniest ladies. I just have come to know we’ve met walking into this podcast. But Lori Graves is a comedian, radio host, writer, all around, community activists doing all sorts of cool things. She’s a funny, cool lady, and that’s how you

Lori Graves  00:26

Rodney, I appreciate that. I love that. I’m gonna need you to write my obituary. Sounds great. Sounds great? Yeah,

Rodney Veal  00:32

I got your back on this one elevated I will give you your flowers. Okay, good, good.

Lori Graves  00:41

Welcome to the podcast. Thanks for having me absolutely.

Rodney Veal  00:44

You know, this is one of those podcasts where I just kind of not, like, this is your life sort of thing, but it kind of sort of is because I’m kind of curious. No one ever on the playground goes I’m going to be a comedian when I grow up. I mean, so I’m just kind of curious, what was your ambition when you were a child to lead to this?

Lori Graves  01:05

I was always I was an only child, so therefore I was responsible for entertaining myself, and I my mom tells me stories. Now I used to line up all of my dolls on my bed, and I would interview them, and I had what I called a talk in tesian because I didn’t know it was called a microphone. But I knew people held this thing that looked like this. They talked into it on television. So I called it my talk in season. And it was actually about four inches, four, six inches of a broken off. Remember those little popcorn things you’d push when you were little? Had the red ball in the Yeah, that was my talk in season. It was like broke off, and I would hold that like a microphone, like a microphone, and she said, you would interview your dolls. I was constantly. I loved game shows on television when I was little, and I always, I didn’t really know what was going on, but I knew people were laughing. I knew there was somebody talking to them. And I think that was probably my earliest maybe, you know, I guess, you know, entry into maybe thinking I want to do something with a microphone. When I grew up, and I was, I was a writer in high school. I went to college, I was a journalism major, and I kind of strayed off of that microphone thing for a while, and went to pen and paper, and I was bar. I was a bartender, and I was the bartender in town that everybody knew I was the one that cracked on people I said things I probably shouldn’t have said. I entertained my customers while they were in there. And one night, some friends of mine that were in a band came in and said, Hey, we’re doing a show at the Majestic Theater, which is our theater in Chillicothe. It’s 500 seat theater, 1853, it’s the oldest continually operating theater in the country, actually. And they said, hey, we’d love for you to emcee our show. It’s us another band, and maybe you could try some comedy. And I said, Well, you guys are crazy. And one of them got real close to my face, and he said, Lori, you’re 37 years old. If you don’t do it now, you’re never going to do it. And that is how I started comedy on a day, or basically, and I, the first time I performed was in front of over 300 people at the Majestic Theater. I’d never done an open mic, nothing. I just went and I’m like, You know what? I’m gonna give it a try. And when I was on stage, like, I know, looking back now, my set was probably horrible, but, you know, it was probably awful. I apologize to everyone who was there that night. But I remember going back in the dressing rooms the theater that night and that feeling I had, and I thought, Man, I want to feel this again. I think, I think I want to, I think I want to be a comic. And that’s how it started, you know, just random, just one night at the bar and just, you know, two people, the Lewis brothers, the band. Had it not been for them asking me to do that, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here with you today. I

Rodney Veal  03:40

love that. That is, that’s how, I mean, it really is this kind of like it’s in you. But someone said, cut off your faces. Yeah,

Lori Graves  03:48

it was more of a dare. Oh, man, I remember we did a shot of Jameson to seal the deal. That’s how we did it. So, yeah, and, you know,

Rodney Veal  03:55

so that’s how Careers start, yeah, that was it. That was it. I mean, yeah, use that to get my job here. You can ask

Lori Graves  04:02

in either comic that is usually not your first time on the microphone. Usually it’s at an open mic at a bar somewhere with maybe eight to 10 people in there. But I chose a theater with 300 people. That was,

Rodney Veal  04:14

that’s like a trial by fire. It really was like they shoved you, basically just shoved you on the set go they

Lori Graves  04:22

did, and I did seven minutes my first time on the mic, which is also unheard of, and then I came back during intermission and did like another seven to nine minutes. And I still have my notebook from that night, and I looked through it, because after my second set, I went down to the dressing room and I wrote, I did it in about three inch letters on my notebook, and I still have that. Occasionally I’ll look at it and like, you know, it’s been 15 years now, and here you here, you still are. So, oh

Rodney Veal  04:48

my gosh. So what was the response? I mean, you know, I know my the responses my parents gave to me about wanting to be an artist. I mean, they they could understand the visual art, but dance ballet, that was just

Lori Graves  04:59

like, yeah. Well,

Rodney Veal  05:00

guess it wasn’t about how it was a shock, right? What are you? So, what did you do? Like, you go to mom’s like, Hey, Mom, I’m going to be a comic

Lori Graves  05:09

that night, obviously. And my father had passed away in 2000 once, this was after, this was 2000 I think nine, that I did this. And my mom, you know? She said, Oh, good job. You know, being the supportive parent, that’s nice. And I said, Mom, I think I want, I want to keep doing this. And she said, You can’t be a comic. And I looked at her, and I said, Well, why? I said, Why can’t I do this? And she said, Lori, do you know how many 1000s of people are trying to do this? She said, We live in a small town, you know? How are you going to do this? And I said, Well, I’m Lori graves, I’ll figure it out, and that’s pretty much and from that point forward, I did it just basically to defy the people around me in my small town, which were few, I have a huge support system, okay, but there were some people who were close to me that said, You can’t do this. What are you thinking? And you know, those first few years, I think I kept going even through the obstacles, out of spite, just, you know, they said I couldn’t do this, so I’m going to show you and and that kind of, you know, that just kind of kept propelling me forward is in the back of my mind. I’ve always thought there were people who thought you couldn’t do this. So you keep going. You just

Rodney Veal  06:15

keep going. I mean, if that’s not inspiration enough, I mean, at a certain point, I mean, I I love, I love the fact you said I’ll show them. Yeah. I mean, that’s basically, I think every artist I’ve, I’ve interviewed, if there were someone was a naysayer, they all said the same thing, yeah. And it doesn’t matter what feeling like, well, I’ll show them. I’m like, wow,

Lori Graves  06:33

yeah. I don’t think, I don’t think the negative people in your life when you’re starting to do something new, I don’t think they realize they’re actually giving you, they’re fueling your fire, and they’re making you, you know, want to to, to prove them wrong. And then after you prove them wrong, then you get to be smug about it, but, you know, and then I get it, but, but, you know, I talked to other people too that, you know, like I went the same thing, you know, some of my friends said you can’t do this. And I’m like, well, here you are, you know? So

Rodney Veal  07:02

that just that blows my mind, that people it’s almost like, Well, how do you know that I can’t do this thing or it’s not going to be successful? Like, what magic beings are? A magic eight ball? Do you possess to go? Like, shake and go? Lori’s not going to be at a comedian? Yeah.

Lori Graves  07:18

Well, I wasn’t raised like that, like my father, like I was, I was the daughter, only child of, you know, my dad was a daddy’s girl. And I know, growing up, you know, my dad never discouraged me from doing anything. If I had some crazy idea, like, I could have told him I wanted to go to the moon, and he would have said, well, you need a plan. Sit down and figure it out. How you gonna get there. You know, he never told me. No, it was always figure out you need a plan how you gonna get there. So based on that, you know, and just everything else, and I thought, you know, I’m from a small town, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do big things. I’ll

Rodney Veal  07:50

say so, so you’ve done the first one. You get the big I did it in three inch letters. What was the next step? Well, so, you know that people are saying, but how do you then take to the next leap, because that’s got to be that’s different. Well,

Lori Graves  08:03

you know, being in Chillicothe, you know, we’re not Dayton, Columbus or Cincinnati, we we had no comedy scene. There was no Comedy Club. Closest one to me was here. It was at Wiley’s, an hour and 10 minutes away, and I knew I needed to get stage time. And I did work at a bar, so I approached my boss, and I said, hey. He goes, Hey, how’d that comedy thing go? I said, Well, I think I want to keep doing it. And he was an older guy, and he said, Well, kid, what we’re going to do to make this happen? And I said, I think I need to start an open mic. And I had never been to a comedy club. I did. I had no idea what I was doing, and I looked it up, you know, how do you do an open mic? And I knew this, how little I knew about it. I did this open mic for a year, once a month at the bar, I hosted and closed every mic because I didn’t know any better. And I thought, well, I need a DJ, because on TV, they have walkout music on comedy shows. So I had a DJ every open MICR had a walkout song at my open mic. I had a spotlight and a PA system, and I just, I just did it. And then, after doing that for a year, a friend of mine lives here in Dayton. His name is Tim spores. He was in a band called skillless villains, and I followed his band a lot. He hit me up one day and he said, Hey, there’s an amateur comedy contest of the funny bone. I think you should enter that. And a week before, it hit me that I had never been to a comedy club, and luckily, I knew Heather at Wiley’s at the time bartender, and so I got a hold of her, and she said, Jack. And Joanne said, you can have five minutes this Sunday. And so I rolled up into Wiley’s. It was a packed house, and I did my five minutes. And then I went on the next week to the date and funny bone. I won that month. I won, I won that night, and then I got to go back in the finals at the end, and I got beat. I got second place. I got beat by one joke. I had one joke that beat me. So Kenny carpenter is one baby. He went one joke and but he but he was great. You know. Know. And then I started meeting Dayton comics, and then they started saying, Hey, would you like to be on my show? And I’m like, yeah. And for the first probably three or four years of my comedy career, everyone thought I was a Dayton comic, because I only did shows in Dayton. I only hung out with Dayton comics. And kudos to Dayton that, you know, they welcomed me with open arms. I’m just I would travel, and people would say, Oh, you’re Lori graves, you’re from Dayton. And I would say, Yeah,

Rodney Veal  10:26

because, I mean, well, I corrected me. Well, nobody knew

Lori Graves  10:28

Rachel coffee, but everybody knew Dayton, and they knew they had a strong comedy scene here. And, you know, so my my roots and my comedy are Dayton, so that’s why that is pretty Mike asked me to come up here and do this. I’m like, Heck, yeah, home. Welcome. Yeah. Why not? So,

Rodney Veal  10:44

yeah, absolutely no. No, no. I mean, I’m just floored to the fact that you just kind of went, let me base it upon I’ve seen this on a TV show. They have walk in music. They’ve done it this way. I mean, I love that. I mean,

Lori Graves  10:58

yeah, I had no idea what I was doing. I can fully admit that now I had no clue, but most of my comedy career has been trial and error. I’ve really never had anybody show me the ropes or it’s been learned as I go, which is why I love now I teach a comedy class at Ohio University in Chillicothe, and I love to like anybody going to start comedy, I like to give them the foundation and the bones that I didn’t have, you know, the things I had to learn myself. And I try to give back to the younger comics now, just that’s kind of a thing I like to do.

Rodney Veal  11:29

I am just Florida guys. I just love the fact that I mean no trepidation, no fear. I mean, oh, I will gladly write your Obed. I will gladly Oh, fearless woman, I love it. Go in like,

Lori Graves  11:46

well, fortunate. I had an entire town that had my back through all this, and they still do. You know, they’re special place. It really is, like, you know, it’s a great talent. And if you’re trying to do something, you know, they rally around you. And they have me in comedy. They’ve supported me all these years. You know, I, when I do shows there, they’re very well attended. And it’s just been, it’s been a joy to watch Chillicothe grow in comedy along with me. Right,

Rodney Veal  12:13

right? And so, okay, so now you’ve done you kind of, you’re in the door, you’re building the plane. As you go, you’re literally adding gasoline and fuel.

Lori Graves  12:24

Exactly that thing ran empty. I would just drip by drip everywhere

Rodney Veal  12:27

I went, Yeah, like, I keep going. So now, I mean, what, what were some of the lessons you got to learned along the way that surprised you? Like, you know about comedy? Because, I mean, you, some people say I want to be a comedian, and they’re, like, obsessed. They read all the books, they watch all the videos, and, like, I studied this video of my favorite comic. Yeah, I mean, and

Lori Graves  12:50

that’s not to me, and that’s just my humble opinion. That is not how you learn to be a comic. How you learn to be a comic, I think, is, is being on stage in the moment, and getting as much stage time as you can, and learning to get a feel of what it’s like to be in front of an audience and how to read the room. So many new comics, their biggest mistake, I feel, is they don’t read the room. You know. They have their set memorized. They get up there, they get the mic, they start going with their jokes, and they’re just, they’re like blinders with just what they’ve memorized, and they don’t bother to look around and see, oh, these people are not responding to this or, or, you know, this is not going well, or whatever. Or, you know, maybe I shouldn’t do the abortion joke in front of a Catholic heavy room, you know? I mean, there are just things you got to know who you are,

Rodney Veal  13:38

you are, and that’s just, that’s a skill that most people don’t possess in real life. Anyway, yeah, oh, read the room, bro. I mean,

Lori Graves  13:46

any town I go to, I’ve never been to before, I always look them up, and I always see, like, how do they make their money, you know? And, you know, how did they vote? How did they make their money? You know, what’s their, what’s their what’s their income, you know, what? What do they do? Just to get a feel of, you know how I can do my jokes I already have, and maybe cater more to that read the room, to that crowd, to that

Rodney Veal  14:06

room, because it’s because people have a natural propensity to laugh at things and because it’s a human connection. And I love on your website describes you as a, you know, a trollop and a sinner, yes, and but a natural storyteller. I just think that I thought I fell in love with you at that point. I was

Lori Graves  14:27

like, That is a quote from my friend. I went to high school with him. He’s an author. He’s a professor at Bowling Green, and he wrote that for me in the in the beginning of my comedy run, when I was bartending, I was like, I think under pentant Center, Chain smoker, whatever, you know, yeah, he wrote that for me. So I kind of, I put that in even though I don’t smoke now, I still think it’s hilarious and, but yeah, he and he and, you know, he inspired me a lot, too, as far as as the writing aspect of comedy, you know, there I would run things by him. You know, he is a published author. He’s an English professor, and that’s his thing. And I would say, hey, you know, I don’t like how this, how this was sound, okay, I’m trying to word this in a certain way. And I’ve bounced things off of a lot of my friends like that. Just, hey, what do you think about this? You know, I’ve got a little text group, like, throw stuff in, like, what do you guys think? Yeah, and if it’s silence, I’ll be like, Okay, back to the drawing board.

Rodney Veal  15:22

Well, you know, it’s really interesting because I, because we interviewed Jesse Nutt. I

Lori Graves  15:26

love Jesse Nutt. I love Jesse that’s a hero of mine. And

Rodney Veal  15:29

also, what I’ve noticed is, and I, you know, I’m interviewing people from all the arts. I mean, I consider comedy and art.

Lori Graves  15:37

I just, thank you. I refuse

Rodney Veal  15:39

it like, no, no, yeah, you’re funny, but you’re not talented.

Lori Graves  15:48

I love you, Rodney,

Rodney Veal  15:50

I I’m real. You know, I’m turning 60. So my thing is, the filters are completely off. I love my I’m like, Really, no, I, you know, I taught dance, and I would tell my students, I’m not everyone can be Beyonce, right? We’re moving on. Yeah, next, yeah. But everything, what I’ve noticed is that everyone believes in writing. Writing is a key, like component of visual art, making, dancing, music, video doesn’t matter. Writing, yes, language, I want to say so, belly, people,

Lori Graves  16:24

people, yes, and you know, it matters. Yeah, words matter, especially when that’s all you have on stage with you, is, are your words and a microphone? You know, we don’t have an instrument, we don’t have background music. It’s just us and our words and the writing really comes into play. There’s a trend in comedy with with the crowd work. I’ve

Rodney Veal  16:45

noticed that, yeah, explain.

Lori Graves  16:49

It has it has its place, and I do, but I am more of an old school comic as Jesse, you know, I believe in you should have a set to repair jokes that you’ve worked on that, you know, you know, you know, land, you know, hit, you know, we’re gonna make people laugh. And a lot of, again, a lot of the newer comics, I’m not trying to bash newer comics, so they don’t, they don’t know any better, but they just think they can get up there and, quote, wing it. And that terrifies me, even as a comic of 15 years, that terrifies me to not have a plan when I get on stage, like, how could you not have a plan? And the crowd work thing, it was made popular. A lot of the younger comics are doing it, and some of them do it very well, but a lot of them don’t, and that’s where the problem is. You just can’t. You know, not everybody wants to hear what the second the guy in the second row does for a living and how long he’s been married. People paid money for a ticket. They want to hear jokes. They don’t want you to interview the crowd and but there is a way, I do give crowd work props to those people who do it right and do it well. I know comics that do it well, and kudos to you, and kudos to them, yes,

Rodney Veal  17:55

absolutely. And that goes into the other part of it. You get to a certain age and life, and, you know, it’s like, yeah, that was great. However, yes, it’s not working. It doesn’t work, right? And it’s not a it’s not a personal thing. I mean, I think sometimes when people this is constructive criticism and feedback, it’s not like we’re saying anything. Oh, right, no, absolutely, yeah. I’ve noticed a lot of younger artists. I mean, just don’t have a thick enough skin to take constructive criticism.

Lori Graves  18:25

No, it’s like, no,

Rodney Veal  18:26

like, who trained? Like, What school did you go to? Yes, like, really weren’t gonna cry about dance is hard. I’m like, I’m asking you for, like, you know, things for my knees. I mean, at this point, I mean, it’s, it’s a hard. Comedy is hard.

Lori Graves  18:41

It is, I think, any any craft that you do, like that in entertainment, it’s hard. And, you know, it’s just like, even with any nine to five job, you know, you have a boss, you’re going to get criticism and something, and you can either use that to improve yourself, or you can carry that with you like a burden and and get upset about it, you know. And I’ve had people tell me I didn’t like that. My mom is the biggest one. She’ll be the first one to tell me, we get in the car after a show, and she’ll say they didn’t like that joke glory, you know. I’m like, Well, I heard and, you know, noted, but Karen Jaffe, my friend and I, we have a Karen’s got a phrase called stage death. And people who tell jokes, and they think they hear laughter, but it’s not there, but, but in their mind, and they got off the stage, they can’t they killed. But like, well, you have one laugh in 10 minutes. But hey, whatever your kudos to you, however you’re counting it. Go ahead if you think you did great. You did great. Wow. But, you know, and I do think there is that too, that some people just in their mind. And, you know, I love it. I love the confidence. I love God, bless them, God for that kind of guy. But I again, you know, I’m old school, you know? And I not only say being 53 but just be in comedy over a decade and talking into a lot of the Jesse nuts of the comedy world, right? Jeff Jenna, these are local people that have been for decades, you know. They will tell you, you know, that’s that joke wasn’t good. You need to, let’s go back to the drawing board. That was good parts of. It. But hey, I think you should tweak this or that. And even after a decade and a half into comedy, I welcome those comments from that I want to be the best I can be. And they know. They know they know the deal. Sometimes comics will give you unsolicited, unsolicited advice, yeah, I know. And that’s always fun. I usually just smile, yeah. Oh, bless your heart with dance, anybody? Oh, yeah, hey, you should yeah.

Rodney Veal  20:25

It’s like, Man, I saw you stumble out of that pirouette. Like, well, yeah,

Lori Graves  20:29

you know what? I’ve done that 5000 times. So yeah, it’s like,

Rodney Veal  20:32

and the curtain went down, and they applauded, and I moved on, yes,

Lori Graves  20:36

but thank you for hanging on to that half a second mistake I had the

Rodney Veal  20:40

ballet lasted for two hours. But you want to tell me I made that stumble,

Lori Graves  20:44

right? Yeah, it’s nice to dance and comedy are really no different. There

Rodney Veal  20:48

is no Oh, my God, oh, there are some. It’s rife with comedy. I mean, sometimes I’m like, wow, uh, really, I’m supposed to fall in love with a bird. Yes, yeah. That makes no sense to me. I would say this makes no sense. Someone like makes no sense to me,

Lori Graves  21:04

right? Yes, okay, yeah, I knew what you get ready to say, Yeah. Say it so yeah,

Rodney Veal  21:09

it is PBS. It’s the most bizarre. It’s like, it’s bizarre. And you see things with art where the people have made something, you go, Oh, but your 12 page description on the wall, does it match that lump that’s in the middle of the floor? Right? Right? You know, it’s like a moment, really, am I being punked? I’m like, I know. I’m not. I’m not that. So, I mean, smart enough, yeah, that doesn’t work. There was a time I went on a vacation, I was in this museum, a contemporary museum, in St Louis. I was standing like, wow, this is kind of minimalist, and this guard walks up to me and says, Excuse me, sir, you’re standing on the art there’s a crack thing in the floor.

Lori Graves  21:58

I would have had no idea. I

Rodney Veal  21:59

was like, I am so sorry. Yes, anyway, you put a crack in the

Lori Graves  22:05

floor, okay, right? And you respect it, but you just don’t understand it. At that point,

Rodney Veal  22:09

I’m standing in the art and then I started, I’ve done the same thing, and then I start laughing, because I’m like, This is stupid. And there’s like, someone’s gonna be oh, how dare you should understand the fragility of buildings in their internal life like, no, it’s a crack on the floor, and you should have put the engines around it. Right? How

Lori Graves  22:26

was I supposed to know that crack

Rodney Veal  22:28

with these size 12 I would have probably been standing

Lori Graves  22:31

right next to you at that moment. Yes, yes, you. Thank

Rodney Veal  22:34

God I didn’t spill a drink on it at that point. So we’re talking about guy like because this whole notion of comedy being an art is, what are the some of the things that because I your observational skills as a comic, I think that’s Annette. Was your friend who wrote it. I think it’s like your storytelling. It’s observations of daily life. Why you’re not heightening what has occurred or you’ve observed, is just telling it in a way that makes it funny, right? I mean, I mean, I’m kind of trying to understand observational humor. Does that work? Because a lot of people have observations. I’m like, but that’s not funny.

Lori Graves  23:12

Well, you know, I spent the better part of 20 years in the service industry observing customers and observing them at their lowest and best moments. You know, from restaurant to bar, I have always, like, stood back, especially in bars, you know, you got to make sure you watch and like, is that guy getting ready to fight, or why is his chest puffy? You know, there’s just little things. And I’ve always been a talker. My mom said I was screaming when I came out, and the only time when I was younger that I didn’t talk because when I was asleep, and I even talked in my sleep. But I’ve always, I’ve always liked it to think myself. I’ve great. I can describe things, you know, maybe in a way. And you know, stories come naturally to me, because the good Lord blesses me with moments that I don’t think he gives anyone else. And I like to turn those into into jokes and make them funny, but also on stage with my storytelling. I had a lady a couple weeks ago tell me she liked me because I was so real. And I’ve always envisioned doing my set as coming on stage and the audience is my friend and I, they’re going to get in the car and take a ride with me, and then when I’m finished telling my stories, I’ll let I’ll let them back out. So that’s just kind of how I like to look at comedies. I like to, you know, I just like to talk to people about everyday things, and I talk about myself more. I don’t like to punch down on marginalized groups in my comedy. I don’t do political humor. I don’t do, like, topical things. I just like to talk about things that I think will make people laugh, that I find humorous. So I try to retell that in a way that, you know, not only maybe you might get, like, a little bit of maybe a message across, but also make them laugh at the same time, and make them feel like, oh, we just hung out with Lori, you know, and really, I was working, and they were. Sitting there. But I like the people to think they just, you know, they came to a show and they hung out with me for an hour. Though I

Rodney Veal  25:05

love that, because then that’s what storytelling is. It’s all storytelling. Yes, I mean, even music. It’s like, you can be on a journey. It’s like, but the audience has to be open to it. And so one of the things I’m kind of curious about, what would you tell an audience in preparing to go to see comedy. Give them some advice, because I think some audience members don’t quite understand what comedy etiquette. 101,

Lori Graves  25:31

fortunately, in Chillicothe, over the years, I have trained my people, and that’s the only way I can say it. And they laugh when I say that, but they know to come in, sit down, turn your phones off. You know, don’t be loud. And I think any any well run show, the host should address these things up front and remind people, Hey, we’re about to start the show. Please turn your cell phones off or on, you know, mute or vibrate. Keep your and I always say, keep your table. Talk to a minimum. That means, don’t talk, you know, don’t, don’t record the show. This is the intellectual property of the person on the microphone. And what I we really need you to do is sit back, laugh, have a good time and join us for some laughs, you know? And I think it’s just common decency, just the the normal daily etiquette I think applies at a comedy show, you know? I mean, you know, I mean, you don’t, you don’t go out to a restaurant. Start screaming, you don’t. You know, you don’t. You know,

Rodney Veal  26:27

we’re supposed to anyway we’re doing not

Lori Graves  26:29

to. But I was raised, you know, you sit there, but I think it’s the job of the host. And a lot of people don’t understand, the host of a show is really you know as important, if not, you know, more important than the headliner, because that’s the person driving the show, really, cuz, you know, they’re the ones kind of set the tone. They get the audience calm down. They give them like, you know, the rules, and you know, they’re the ones that, you know it’s their job to start that show out on the right foot. And that’s how I started doing a lot of things. Actually, here in Dayton, I was a host. Anybody like Laura, you want to host my show? Absolutely, I would jump on those host jobs because it got my foot in the door with like, you know, clubs and stuff for one but two, you know, I did a good job. I knew what I was supposed to do, and I got the show off and running so the other people on the show could enjoy themselves and do what they do. And I always encourage new comics. I’m like if anybody asks you to host a show, that is a skill set that not everyone has, and if you’re going to host a show, you know that’s an important part of that show, and there are things that you need to know to be able to do that, because that job is very important. And some comics are insulted when they get asked to host a show where, I think, you know, for a newer comic, that’s one of the biggest things somebody could offer you, is give you control of their show, because that’s basically what you’re doing as a host. I can’t

Rodney Veal  27:57

believe someone will be offended. I mean, is it? Is it? Because they want to be, I want to be immediately the headliner.

Lori Graves  28:03

Everyone wants to be the headliner. But Jonathan Craig told me a long time ago when we were talking about it, when I finally got to the point where I could be the feature, which is the one right before the headliner. And we were talking one night, and he’s like, you know, headlining isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, be careful what you wish for. And I think of that often when

Rodney Veal  28:19

he that, he said to me that’s great advice for any, any, anything, because

Lori Graves  28:23

the headliner, you have to go up there and perform no matter what how horrible the show was before you. If it is, you know, hopefully it’s great, but it isn’t always, no, and you have to clean up the mess that everybody else left before you on stage. Oh, my God. So yeah.

Rodney Veal  28:40

I mean, like the audience has revolted,

Lori Graves  28:42

yeah, well, you know, like everybody, you know, sometimes what time you get on the mic, you know, people are sitting with their arms crossed, like, we hate this show and everything about it, and then you’ve got to go up there and do 45 minutes in front of these people, and you’ve got about 30 seconds to win them over to so you can have a good set. And, you know. So you know the headliner, you know what you really want to be is you want to be the feature, because that there’s no pressure on the feature, because the host opens the headliner closes the feature. You’re just like, you’re the filling in the sandwich there, and do your stuff. You know the headliners going to come clean up after you. And hopefully, you know you’re a little more experienced than the host, so you can, you know, your good jokes go off well, but you know the hierarchy of a show? I truly think that every new comic should learn how to be a host. It’s very important. It’s very skill building for them to do that.

Rodney Veal  29:31

Oh, my God, that is such great advice. Well, that’s, you know, I’m gonna that model, to me, sounds like the model that should happen and other things as well. Like, sometimes, like, do you don’t need to be the headliner? I mean, somebody you the host, is not a bad thing, or the second banana, second fiddle, yeah, yeah. I love those roles. Yeah, hosting

Lori Graves  29:50

isn’t a bad gig. And I think you should welcome those, those offers, and, you know, and get good at it. And that’s how you, you know, you. Gets chops ready to be the feature and the headliner. It teaches you crowd work. Teaches you skill on how to deal with the crowds. Is being that host. You got to get up. You’re running the show. It’s all on you. All on you. So open the door to the show. You’re the one they see first. You know? Yeah, the water is

Rodney Veal  30:16

fine, yeah. So my question is, like for comedy in Ohio, a lot of people don’t realize there’s a lot of opportunities to see comedy in Ohio. Oh,

Lori Graves  30:24

there’s so much comedy in the state of Ohio, and so many, so many good comics that people have never heard of, that that they should have. There are some fantastic comics, I mean, from Cleveland on down, that unfortunately they don’t get the stage time they should a lot of it’s, you know, politics, a comedy. We, you know, it’s all, but they, but they, you know, they don’t get booked as they should. And I love finding those people, and I love bringing them to Chillicothe from to do my shows, because I love to bring a variety of comics to my audiences in Chillicothe, you know, I just, I like to, I like to showcase people that maybe might not get showcased anywhere else, and, you know, not to play the card, but maybe, again, marginalized groups, or, you know, women, things that maybe they don’t get the stage time in the clubs or the big venues, that they should, but they’re still just equally as funny, and they deserve the stage

Rodney Veal  31:19

time, and they have talent and skill. I love that, the fact that you approach it that way, because I feel a lot of people it was a fact that someone kind of pointed out to me that Ohio is the seventh populous state in the country.

Lori Graves  31:32

It is, I think I read something one time, Columbus, Ohio is 500 and some miles away from most of the major cities in the United States, yes. And that, that, to me, is when I heard that that was kind of mind boggling. Like, wow, it kind of, it is, you know. And just Columbus itself is such a huge, you know, just test market city, and just, there’s all kinds of stuff up there,

Rodney Veal  31:54

yeah, so and so, when I hear people say, oh, there’s this doesn’t happen, I’m like, No, I’m on this job. And I’ve been at this for, like, hosting the archer for 10 years, yes, and now doing the podcast and as well. I’m like, please, there’s tons I’m trying to fit it in. I’m like, I want to go. I’m like, you know, I was telling Mike. I’m like, you know, I even did a pitch for Mike or a producer to Dana Wiley. Dana Wiley gallery yesterday, she’s on board, by the way, FYI, so it’s like that kind of thing where get comedy in other places, get it out there. Was like, we need it. We need we need to laugh a little

Lori Graves  32:30

bit. I love taking comedy to places that have never had comedy. When I started producing shows, that is one of the things that I I had the chance to do, because, again, chilled coffee, no comedy there, I know, like, what? Until I, you know, build it so. And my favorite thing to do is to find a small town with like an AMVETS or a Legion or a moose or something, and they’ve never had comedy there, you know. And those are the shows that you know. All 250 people that live there come out for that show because they’ve never had the opportunity to have comedy in their town. And again, I don’t, I don’t think it takes away from any club attendance. I think actually satellite shows like that encourage people to go to comedy clubs. They might try the next step and pay that higher ticket price to see that that name. But again, it all goes back to who’s producing the show? You want to make sure you’re giving these little, small towns a quality show. I mean, you want to have a PA system that works. You want to have a spotlight. You want to have things the room set up to where that show, it’s conducive for laughter, okay? And some, again, not hammer on new comics, but some of them, they get so gung ho. But I want to start producing shows, but they don’t even have a PA system, you know, they don’t have a spotlight. You know, they go into this club the fluorescent lights are still on. That is not, that’s not a club atmosphere. So if you’re going to do shows, if you’re going to do shows off, off club premise like that, you want to make sure you can get as close to a comedy club feel as possible, right? And set that up, set it up to win and not to fail. And I feel if the show is well produced and well ran, those people in those small towns are going to start getting online, and they’re going to be like, well, you know, where’s the closest funny bone to me, or where’s the closest independent comedy club? Hey, let’s go there and check that out, because you’ve opened the door to comedy for them. And they may have never been to a live comedy show before, and then they might get that bug like, Hey, I love going to live comedy shows. Let’s see. Let’s see where else we can go, you know. So you might do a show there once a quarter, you know, twice a year, but that still is going to open that door for that, that audience member, to fall in love with live comedy. And I love to do that. I love to take comedy where it’s never been. It’s one of my favorite things to do. Oh, that

Rodney Veal  34:43

I I really am writing Euro bit. I’m like, I because I love your attitude about it. It’s like, you know, instead of it being some sort of like, oh, Treasury challenge, you’re saying, All right, let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s do it. Let’s do it. I’m like, I love that kid because I love comedy.

Lori Graves  34:59

You know, I think everyone deserves to laugh. Yeah, and you kind of love

Rodney Veal  35:03

what you do. I was talking to David crean, who, dr, David crean, who runs the Dayton box, society of Dayton, and he says, Man, you got to love this, because we get paid pennies on the pennies. You’ve got to love it. And I was like, I will. I took I listened. I was like, You’re absolutely right. And I the Lean days when, you know, yeah, it’s like, when you’re starting out as a comic or any sort of an artist, it there. It’s the lean,

Lori Graves  35:33

yeah, my very first paying gig, it was hour and a half from my house, and I made $25 and I was never so happy to get that 25 they I felt like a million in my hand when I got it, and didn’t even cover the gas and the drinks I had at the bar. But you know what I got? I got paid to do something I loved, and I knew, I knew it would get better. I just had to stick with it, you know. So yeah, and again, you know. And sometimes I’ll take gigs that, you know, really don’t, don’t pay that well, whatever. But it’s a it might be for the cause. It might be a fundraiser. Might be something I believe in. And I tried to do, I had to cut it down, because, you know, I do need to pay the bills. So usually now I’ll do maybe one or two free things a quarter, just so I can still keep giving back. Because you get asked to do, the more you do it, you know, the more you get asked to do free stuff, right? But I like to work with a lot of nonprofits in my area. I work with them, and I’ll emcee stuff for free, or I’ll do a show for free. You know, just because I just, I’m doing, getting ready to do a show. I talked about my show this morning my radio station, I’m gonna do a comedy show in May for a local Cat Rescue called cats and company and chill coffee. This girl, she, at any given time, she has 50 to 100 cats, and you know, she’s out there, you know she has, she’s a realtor, she’s got a regular job, but, you know, it’s a struggle, and I’m doing something for a humane society this coming weekend, but I like to do. Once you get to the point where you can then I the fun part now is being able to use comedy to help give back to my community. That’s what I like to do, too. I like to, you know, just get, you know, it they’ve supported me for so long. It’s time to give back. You know,

Rodney Veal  37:17

that is such a true Oh, it is.

Lori Graves  37:19

I think everyone should anything you’re good at. You should at least do one thing a month, or even one thing a quarter, give back, you know, even if you’re even if you lay concrete, you know, do something, you know, to give back to the people who’ve supported you. I think it’s important in any job or any art that anyone does.

Rodney Veal  37:36

Oh, man, I am you. We are kindred spirits, because I adamantly believe that, yeah. And I’ve had people say, like, Oh, why do you do these events and activities? Because it matters for the community. It does. It serves. It serves a purpose. I’m in I believe in service. I’m like, yes, yes. I’m like, What are you selfish if you’re

Lori Graves  37:56

like me, like, obviously, you know, you’ve been dancing your whole life, you know? And it was a gift that was give to you, that it was a gift. It was a gift, trust me. And you know, when you get gifts, are you supposed to keep them wrapped up? Are you supposed to unwrap them and share them? You know, that’s the

Rodney Veal  38:08

airlines are up? Yeah, I have good fortune. Yes, I’m at PBS. I’m at the station. Yes, a lot of support and love. Why would I not try to figure out how to share all that with everyone exactly. Bring them along. Hey,

Lori Graves  38:23

maybe you watch me do this. Maybe you could do this, you know, and be an example to younger people and just anybody, especially at my age. I know your age, I didn’t start calming till I was 37 so I like to encourage people like, hey, it’s never too late to follow a dream if you got at least try it. You I don’t want to go to go to my grave, like, with regret that I didn’t try something. And if had I not done comedy, that would have been a regret. I should have tried that. Yeah, so yeah, and that’s why I love teaching that little adult workshop. I have, oh, university Chola coffee. It’s a three week course, you know, we have a little show at the end, and I basically just teach people stage mechanics and how to, how to, how to write a three to five minute set. I mean, I don’t teach them everything, you know, but at least I give them the foundation. And a lot of them, it was a bucket list, like, I’ve always wanted to try comedy. And I’m like, I’m so glad you did, you know. And maybe they never do it again, but they can check that off of their list. And you know, one thing’s gone,

Rodney Veal  39:18

one thing’s gone. And also that you don’t know, yeah, see, one of the things is, when you took the dare to do it, you had no idea it would leave. Oh, no clue. This pathway

Lori Graves  39:26

that I threw up off and on for two months, I was so terrified. I was a nervous wreck that even going into that night, I was, I was, I was bartender back then, so I was pretty big drinker. I don’t drink anymore, but I think I sucked down probably two or three double crown and sevens before I hit that stage, just, you know, just to get that courage, you know, that I thought I needed from, you know, the alcohol, to get out there. And then once I was up there, I was surprised at how comfortable I was. And it was just, was weird, you know, like even my knees were knocking. I wore a dress. You couldn’t see my knees. My knees were knocking. Working. But the next day, I just looked back and reflected on how at home I felt, you know, it felt was kind of almost a relief that I felt like home. I thought, oh my gosh, I found this, and I need to be doing this. And that how you felt with dance, absolutely, yeah. First time you’re like, first this is me. Oh,

Rodney Veal  40:16

this is me, yeah, I’m sure if there was a videotape of it, I look like a hot mess, right?

Lori Graves  40:21

Same thing with my set, my jokes horrible that night, but, you know, we gotta start somewhere, right? But, but I’m sure the same thing with you. You you felt, you felt it, you know. And like I felt, this is what I need to be doing. And not everybody gets to feel that, and they don’t. And that’s where in comes the gift and the blessing, yeah,

Rodney Veal  40:38

and that’s why the and that’s the underpinning of art. It is, it is a gift and a blessing to be in the art of this. And the underlying of the art, it’s living, yes, being alive and living, and you want to be in that energy. It’s energy. It’s, it’s like, it’s a it’s, it’s a special place, and it’s like, we all need to laugh. And we, we’re laughing here, but we’re, you know, we’re talking about very important things, and it matters. And I think that’s why I love doing this podcast, because I want people to hear this and go, Oh, well, maybe I’ll try that,

Lori Graves  41:09

right? Yeah, I just anything. If you just want to be, you want to be on if you want to build Lego, you’d be best Lego builder. You can be, you know, you go buy those Legos. You feel that you do that. But just anything, I think you just got to give it a try. I have. I mean, there are so many people I know my age that that wanted to do things and never tried. And, you know, I’m like, I just wish they would. And it is scary. It’s terrifying, you know, but, if you but I would rather be terrified than though, and have the regret, right,

Rodney Veal  41:39

right? And I, you know, I, my approach to being on this, this world was, I was like a golden retriever when they said, Yeah, would you audition to be the host of the art show? And I went, Okay, and I did it. And it was, I didn’t realize I can read a teleprompter. I didn’t realize that that overly talkative kid, yeah,

Lori Graves  42:03

what’s this? Our old neighbor used to call me, like, jabber JAWS or something. I don’t know, you call me hot rod.

Rodney Veal  42:07

I was called Hot Rod, yeah, because I was running around going, what’s this? What’s this, yeah. And so I, you know, and now it’s like, my friend goes, Oh, so this is what was leading to,

Lori Graves  42:17

don’t you think it’s funny, and I don’t call it a flaw, but something that you know, you did as a child, that people were like, ugh, and now that’s what you do for a living, you know, he’s like, maybe that wasn’t so bad that I was that talkative as a child,

Rodney Veal  42:29

you know, maybe, maybe you had recognized it in your career now, you know. And that’s the thing, is we think like that. We don’t know what the career pathways are. And I think that that’s like to that point. I think that’s what stops most people, because other people tell them, Well, you shouldn’t do that. I because they don’t know, like, Well, how do you how can you tell me not to be an artist? Yeah, if you’ve never been an artist, I love you, but

Lori Graves  42:53

Right? And I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be doing comedy or that I would be a DJ on the radio station. I mean, I said I was a journalism major. Everybody wanted me to be a teacher, and then I quit college. In fact, I worked in the service industry for over 20 years. I was a restaurant manager, and I just felt like, you know, people like, Oh, do you wish you would have started comedy earlier? And I always say no, because I think I needed those years building up to 37 to get those life experiences and get the understanding of people so that I could do this. Because I think had I started earlier, I wouldn’t have met the vast amount of people that I’ve met. I wouldn’t have had those life experiences. I wouldn’t have had those trials and tribulations to make me like, you know, more understanding human and to be able to tell the stories you know. So I from my case, I think starting later in life, that’s what was meant to be,

Rodney Veal  43:44

yeah. And then that phrase meant to be, I mean, it’s like a lot of people want to leapfrog and jump over, what I consider a process is really living Yeah, yeah. I mean, I needed to live a little Yeah. And I mean, it was, and I did. And then that’s when I became a dancer and an artist. And so it kind of led to that and that, that that’s what it is. I just think,

Lori Graves  44:06

when you stop telling young people, they have to have everything figured out by the time they’re 22 because I didn’t know what I wanted to be, and when I grew up until I was 37 you know? So I know, and I still, you know, still made it. Yeah. It’s just yeah, we’re still here. We’re breathing here. We’re still here, now

Rodney Veal  44:19

doing the thing we love. And so what you’ve given such words of wisdom, and I and advice, and I mean, you are a storyteller. What advice would we give our audience? Our last one thing that you did, maybe didn’t cover, because I think that this is these kind of podcasts I think serve a purpose. Yeah, I

Lori Graves  44:40

agree. I don’t know. Just I think the main thing is coming from someone I’m 53 I think one of the main things I would like to impress on people my age or close to my age, is, you know, don’t give up on something you’re never too old to start something new, like you’re never, you never a. Age out of trying new things, you never age out of turning your path a different direction. And don’t be afraid of that, you know, because you never know. I up to a month ago, I was working for my local county board of DD, and my job was terminated. They just did away with a position, and I thought I was going to retire from that job, and now here I am. I just started my new job this week. I’m the promotions director for total media, which owns the radio station I’m on. So I mean, that just happened to me in the past week, and you’re never too old to go a different direction, and what you think you’re supposed to be doing may not be what you’ll do forever. So just be open, be open to new things,

Rodney Veal  45:42

and that is the ultimate Mic drop. Yes, thank you, Lori, thank

Lori Graves  45:46

you, Rodney, this is a pleasure. So much I appreciated this today. Yeah, cool. Thank.